put your ego behind...trust your heart....

want 2 study but my mind so miserable....asyik mengenang dosa2 lalu aje...baru faham nape bile berdoa kite akan sebut hamba y hina n dina ni...sebab kite mmg byak dosa....xtau la org len tp i admit really admit y sy byak dosa...dosa pada manusia, haiwan2, alam sekitar...tp dosa pada Allah, masyaAllah xusah ckap...mmg xterkata byak nya...aku sllu pk apakah amalan aku dterima Allah?????????....perkara y pling aku kesalkan (aku rse mmg antara penyumbang dosa y terbyak) ialah aku xpernah nk amalkan "amal ma'ruf nahi mun'kar"....i can feel d burden of this sin when i know i'm not do that....pas2 aku akan rse nyesal y sgat2....especially when it involves my beloved pesons...i love them but when i can't tell them it feels like i dont love them....aku tau the feeling comes from the sin....n aku tau aku juga ade wat byak dosa len...impian aku ingin jd wanita solehah y dpat menjaga pertuturan, tgkah laku, ibadah, maruah diri. dlam smua2 ni y pling ssah tuk alu laksanakan adlah melaksanakan ibadah dgan smpurna....specially solat dgan pnuh kekhusyukan...adakah solat kiter dterima jika tidak khusyu'?...always worrying about that...n 1 more thing is my maruah diri...maruah diri ini bkan hya terletak pd percakapan dan tgkah laku...tp ia lbey kepada bagaimana kite mmbawa diri kita....pakaian....we can't say a person who wearing a loose jeans, loose blouse or refuse to wear pants is an outdated person. they are always be guarded by Malaikat..they are foolowing the Shariah...we can never left behind our shariah...but me????...why i cant be a part of them???? i really2 hope that i can be like them...especially when it comes to aurat...i try to keep it all the times when i'm around with my "bukan mahram". but sometimes i failed...there is some situations i can't fulfill it...that is my fault...aku lbey bsarkan ego aku drpada perasaan dosa....betapa besarnya dosa aku ni...sekarg bile aku rse diri x tenang, solat ssah nk khusyu', sllu ade problem, n ssah nk wat ibadah sunat, aku akn pk kan perkara2 ni....mmg sng nk menyesal tp utk kiter wat correction tuk sesalan kter 2 mmg ssah....aku smpai arini xberubah....